May 31, 2010

Katie... TaDA

Today I’m introducing you to Katie. EverybodyKatieKatieEverybody.

I’ve been sitting here in my (dad’s) office, fiddling with the pencils in the blue cup next to me, looking at the New York times, checking my email and writing back to all of those people who emailed a long time ago but didn’t.

Basically I’m doing anything I can to not write this post. Because I have no idea what to tell you about Katie.

Katie is something like 5’4 or 5’3. All I know is that she is shorter than me and it had better stay that way. She has really long shiny hair that goes a long way down her back, and even when it is messed up it looks beautiful. Oh! My fingernails are starting to tint green. Excuse me while I go wash the envy off.

Alright. I’m good again.

So I thought about a list of adjectives (cool, awesome, smart, amazing, straight-forward), but that’s a bit too abstract for me. What would really know about her when I was done? You’d really just have a general idea of my vocabulary, and that disappointment can wait for later.

I could tell you about her accomplishments. She has a lot so we could get impressive here. This year is her second (third?) going to National History Day, she just finished starring in a production of Twelfth Night down in town (town, for anyone who doesn’t live around here is the general term we use for anywhere not within twenty or thirty minutes of our house). She probably is going to end up with a 4.6 and get full points on the SAT and ACT. She sings, dances, plays the piano and wii.

Yeah, that’s not cutting it either.

Ideally I would tell you a story that would reveal Katie’s innermost soul and then you would think, “Oh! I get it! Katie is totally amazing!”

I don’t have a story like that. I’m sure one exists. I might even know it. But I can’t think of it. Even if I could, I’m not sure Katie would like her innermost soul displayed for the world to see.

So I’ll tell you about Adam Popcorn, since it’s one of our more current adventures and the stupid thing of the year so far. It was my idea. I admit that fully and upfront. It was my really, really stupid idea. It came in News Writing, which is where a surprising number of ideas come.

Adam Popcorn is popcorn with melted starbursts (the tropical kind) and krazy kore skittles and peanuts. We knew it was going to be gross, but we figured in might be gross in the same way that potato chips are when you’ve eaten too many.

The starbursts wouldn’t melt. They just glopped, sticky clumps of blue-green gooiness sticking to the bottom of my butter pan. Katie and I were undeterred, however. Sometimes determination isn’t such a good thing.

We poured in the starburst, tossed the skittles and peanuts and went for it. We chewed for a while, feeling the enamel of our teeth eaten off.

“This is terrible,” I said, after I’d unstuck my teeth.

“Yeah, it’s really bad.”

But we kept putting the popcorn into our mouth in an almost mechanical motion. Headaches, stomachaches and general aches followed. We tried to go on a walk, but we just didn’t feel good enough. So we slumped on the couch and groaned for an hour or so.

“You know,” Katie said, rolling over. “I think our friendship has moved up to a new level now. Like, now when I’m in jail, you’re going to be the one sitting next to me instead of baling me out.”


I’m not sure how enlightened you actually are by this. I guess what I really wanted to say is that Katie is one of those people I can do stupid things with and say stupid things too, not because she won’t tease about it, but because when she does I can tease her back.

Happy birthday, Katie. Love you. You rock my socks. You deserve a billion marshmallows. Over.

May 30, 2010

If I Was A Duck

This is our first post. Kind of. Not technically. But still.

Ta da. This post we'll be writing rules, because we are rule-abiding people and we need rules to abide by. Just one of those things. Humor us. This is our online blog version of John Locke's (the philosopher, not the Lost guy) social contract. Except it's just us promising. And we're not giving ourselves any punishments if we break the rules, so it's not binding or anything.

We'll talk about why we're actually writing this blog next time, this time is RULES:

1. We promise to post regularly. Of course, we're two teenagers in the twenty-first century, meaning that we've been brainwashed into thinking that we don't have lives unless they include every extra-curricular activity that we've ever heard of and we're going to be hobos unless we have a 4.6 GPA. So regularly might be biannually, but it will be regularly

2. We won't swear, so you don't either, OK? We're Latter Day Saints (Mormon) and so we don't swear, drink, do drugs, have more than one ear piercing or stay out past midnight because that's when the Holy Ghost goes to bed, guys.

3. My little sister's name is not really her first name. Just so you know. We're calling her by one of her middle ones. The only one that you'll actually be able to pronounce. Marie. We also won't use anyone's full name unless we've already checking with them. Or they're Mark Bittman, or the like. And if we're being bratty we'll just say "that girl" or "that guy."

4. We won't be bratty.

5. We will not write posts about waking up and brushing our teeth and picking out our clothes and eating breakfast. We will never tell you about brushing our teeth, unless something really important happened when we were brushing our teeth. Our posts will have a purpose, or they'll be random.

6. We will use spellcheck. You can thank us later.

7. We'll keep exclamation marks to a minimum, because they're annoying (CoughDadCough). We have no promises about parenthesis.

8. We'll tell you who is writing. This is both us, by the way. But Marissa is typing.

You might be wondering what this post has to do with a duck. Mostly we wanted to see if you'd get all the way through it, still looking for a duck. If you are very disappointed that we did not share our many thoughts about what we'd do if we were water abiding birds, then write a comment and we'll write a post about it sometime. If you were really relieved that we didn't go on about ducks, write a comment anyway. Or mark our poll. Yeah, it's just down there. See it?

Love your guts, Katie and Marissa. Over.


'Tis gorgeous. You have mad skills. We should write a post. Over.

May 29, 2010


Likie the new header??