Apr 25, 2011

Tetanus, Pineapple, and Other Unfortunate Combinations

I googled tetanus symptoms today.

I got hit by a bus a week or so ago. (i suppose it's more accurate to say I hit a bus. the bus itself wasn't really moving at the time. but "hit by a bus" sounds so much more dramatic. and less clutzy. ) When I got around to showing my mom the torn skin on my back she decided I needed a tetanus shot. Then Monday happened. And the tetanus shot didn't.

My mouth has been really sore, and because I'm mother's daughter it occurred to me in the middle of Wives and Daughters this morning that maybe sore mouths are a sign of tetanus. And I was dying. So I got up to google it.

Apparently sore mouths have nothing whatsoever to do with tetanus. So my oral woes must be a result of the obscene amount of pineapple I've been eating.

I haven't written in a really long time. I know. Actually, I really thought about not blogging. I'm still thinking about it. But you haven't gotten rid of me yet. I will probably switch blogs when I got to college, though. Does anyone have any good blog name suggestions? Names are not really my strong point. I'm also going to have to figure out how to make a blog. Katie made this one. Pretty, huh?


Since my last post

--a tsunami came. the warning came when katie and i were on a walk and we figured that someone accidentally pressed the big red button. not so much. i walked up to a hill to get away from it at about two in the morning. it was about two feet tall. ihop opened at three. i had to go to school the next day.

--i have driven a lot. on highways. i am getting better at shifting and steering, but not so good at stopping and starting. the people who drive behind me hate me, 'cuz i usually go the speed limit. my dad has only used the emergency brake once. and i still haven't hit anything.

--i became a valedictorian without knowing how to pronounce it. i really want to give my speech to a guy in my class. i'll get up and say "hey everybody, i'm giving my speech to Vita." and then Vita would get up and do a rap or something. and everyone will tell me how good my speech was. i still don't know how to pronounce valedictorian.

--i got hit by a bus.

among other things.

I accept only 70% of the responsibility for the obscene amount of pineapple I've eaten. The other 30% goes to my visiting cousins. Because they are tourists they are allowed to stop by random fruit stalls and buy all sorts of fruit. (fruit like really, really green guavas. do guavas ripen after they've been picked? how about after they've been cut? inquiring minds want to know.) Pineapples have been bought often. And cut up. Left on the counter. Beautiful and glistening.

(picture compliments of YumSugar, Burning Questions. and pineapple makes your mouth hurt because of bromelain.)

I have eaten much of them.

Do you blame me?

Lots of pineapples make your mouth hurt. You're supposed salt them so that they don't. But I always remember that just when my mouth starts hurting. I have no memory. Or self control. Thus the sores on my mouth.

The good news is, I don't have tetanus. Probably.