Nov 7, 2010

A Thought For Admissions People


There are a lot of things that I kind-of, sort-of, really hate about applying for college. (I know, I complain a lot on here. It's where I come when I'm irritated. You should be honored. You're the cyber shoulder I come to cry on. What, other people read this blog? Nuh-uh. Who are you kidding. It's just you and me here.)

One of the things hate is that it makes me feel stupid. I think, Why didn't I just get an A in that class? It wouldn't have been that hard. If I'd knocked a few hours of sleeping out I could have still done it and everything else. Who needs to sleep? (Totally not true, there are some classes that the only reason I didn't get an A in them is because I refused to respect them or do the work. Am I proud of it? Erm... no. Would I do it again?... Don't ask me hard questions!)

I also don't like that I have to sit for multiple four hour exams which boil down eighteen years of learning into a number unfortunately distant from 36 or 800. I am not a number! I am smart! Sometimes...

It is possible, though, that what I hate most are their essays. I don't like when they're bad questions that plead for stereotypical answers (What does the world need right now? World Peace (and harsher punishment for parole violators... Name that movie)). But it might be even worse when they ask good questions and then expect you to answer it in less than 500 characters. What? They want me to talk about something I'm passionate about and how I pursued it in 500 characters? They're kidding, right? This post is already 1,192 characters. And I haven't mentioned a single thing that I'm passionate about. Well, unless you count world peace.

It does get to the point where I want to sit all admissions people down and explain to them that even if I spent the next century trying to communicate the whole of my person in 500 characters, all they would know about me is that I get frustrated easily. And then I'm tempted to just submit a list of words. Carefully chosen ones! Words like chandelier, gazebo, goulashes, sleet and flamboyant. Or write them a short fairy tale where the prince gets chewed up by a dragon. But that might be a bit too morbid.

Don't you think the admissions people must get bored? After reading countless essays about world peace and student's dedication to __________. Wouldn't they rather read about what I think clouds taste like? Raise your hand if you would rather read what I think clouds taste like.

OK. I feel better now. Thanks for sticking around and listening to me vent. Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me.

Clouds taste like cotton candy, but only at sunset.


P.S. This post is now 2,187 characters.


  1. You should tell them you have a blog, and they can read more interesting stuff on here.
    I agree, bad admissions questions. But I actually had an admissions person contact me after he read my essay. He said his job is usually painfully boring and he liked mine. I think I was basically accepted based on that. I didn't go there (because of some other things), but try to make it interesting. If only for you.
    Any school would be STOKED to have you.

  2. Oh, and I think you need to fess up about your test scores. So we can tell you you're crazy for thinking they're even bad.

  3. I knew admissions people's jobs were boring. I'm officially checking that off my list of possible careers (along with being a rocket scientist, math teacher and bus driver). Anyway, Jackson, I'm sure essay was amazing and you somehow said something deep and clever in the word limit. That was really nice of him to call get in contact with you and tell you liked it. I probably wouldn't have. So maybe it's a good thing I won't be an admissions person.

    Basically college resumes dig up all of my insecurities and then ask me to put it into pretty prose to flaunt it in front of people with doctorates that I don't know... so I come and complain about it here.

    I took the SAT twice and got a 610 on math both times (worst first, right?), 630 on writing once, 660 the next time. On reading I got a 750 once and 770 the next time. I'm pretending I didn't take the ACT. (I'm also crossing scientist off my list of possible careers based on my ACT scores. Not that it was ever really on the list. I'll let someone else cure cancer. Maybe Katie.)