Mar 4, 2011

I (Kinda) Drove

I started learning how to drive tonight. Like, in an actual car. With no strange flimsy manual letting me know that it is darker at night than it is during the day. There was actual gas involved. And you know... strange lights were flashing on my dashboard. I kept feeling like they were trying to tell me something.

Anyway. I have emerged unscathed (at least physically) and have concluded that I have not played enough video games in my life. The whole steering thing? Totally foreign.

I did kind of sort of get the hang of it. About half way through my dad suggested that I start driving on the right side of the road. I thought about telling him about my secret dream to be James Bond, but I already told him about my secret dream of being a street performer with an electric violin in NYC. I'm mindful of his feelings and I try to only drop one secret dream a week.

The good news is I didn't crash into anything. But when I'm in the car there are two categories of things: The ones that don't move, so I have to try hard to miss them. Then there are the ones that do move, so I can have some hope of them diving out of the way.


My dad told me that I was the best first time driver he'd ever seen. But the only other first time driver he'd ever seen was himself... so I'm not sure how encouraged I am by that.

I'm going to completely switch gears (ha... get it? fine... never mind) here and mention a few random things now.

1. Prom is coming up and I'm going to be happy when it's over. As fun as it is to watch everyone primp and prepare I'm tired of everyone ragging on me for my lack of school/senior spirit in not going. I have no school/senior spirit. I thought this was blatantly obvious. Since, like, sixth grade or something. I'm not sure why anyone is surprised anymore. The only one who hasn't bugged me about it is the guy who is also not going because he broke up with his girlfriend.

2. My mom is sanding/recoloring (I know there is a technical term for that, but I don't care) the kitchen counters. She wears this funny looking gas mask when she does it (I love you mom. You are very cute in your funny looking gas mask). As ridiculous looking as the gas mask is, it's also very useful. The wood dust and thick brown goop she applies to the wood makes my head spin when I'm in the same room with it. It's really sad how useful things are ridiculous looking. Someone should declare thick tennis shoes, sweat pants, and ridiculous looking gas masks attractive, instead of high heels, skirts and two inches of makeup. Talk about ridiculous. It's too bad I love high heels.

3. We made cupcakes in culinary today. Well, no, we didn't actually make them. We decorated them, though, with chocolate curls and chocolate drizzles. They were chocolate cupcakes. Any class with that much chocolate in it automatically gets bumped to my favorite. It might have more competition if we were reading The Importance of Being Earnest instead of Heart of Darkness in Lit.

It is later than it should be and I have a grueling day of cutting out pictures of garnishes and talking about Saussure. I am a very diverse person, my friends. My talents are few and far between.



  1. I wish we had done that in culinary today.

    You and that boy should go together to prom because that would change the world. Well, yours anyway. Prom is so not about school spirit. It's totally about selfishness. Which is why you should get some.

    And yes, you are wayyyy smarter than Glenn Beck. Take it as a compliment.

  2. What did you do in culinary? Notes... you didn't do notes did you?

    And ew, Jackson, at the prom thing. I am much more grossed out if you know who the guy I'm talking about is and still suggested it. And I don't think I'm lacking in selfishness... Maybe my brand of selfishness is just more lazy. Prom night I'm totally going to be hanging with Katie and making cream puffs or something.

  3. Now I need to figure out which guy you're talking about.
    Oh, yes. We did notes. I'm annoying like that.

  4. I'd rebuke you for the notes, as a student, but I had this terrifying dream where I was a culinary teacher the other night... At this point I'm just impressed that any culinary teacher ever found the courage to let their students hold knifes.

    Plus, I totally signed up for culinary in the first place so I could be in your class, so the rebuking thing makes a limited amount of sense.

  5. Ha ha love it. So cute your description of your first time driving. The steering wheel part reminds me of Tatum's first time. hahahaha